Love & Relationships: Has Marriage Lost It’s Meaning?

After Kim Kardashian’s failed 72-day union to Kris Humpries, and the media circus that ensued, it has led many to question the sanctity of marriage. I cannot say that their rushed marriage caused the demise of their relationship due to the fact that I myself met and married my husband fairly quickly (within a year). But one thing that I did have was a deep respect for the institution of marriage itself. It is one of the biggest steps you can take in your life and I wanted to make sure I did not make a decision I would later regret. I was raised in a two-parent household with parents who were in a committed and loving marriage. That didn’t mean things were always peaches and cream, but they were committed to making it work, through the good and the bad. I saw first-hand the ups and downs and knew that marriage was not something to enter into lightly; it was hard work. While as a child I did think about my wedding, I was more excited about the marriage and starting a family. Women have over romanticized marriage by focusing on the wrong thing – the wedding. They get caught up in the hype and pageantry and think that everyday, much like the wedding, will be sunshine and roses. Sure, the wedding can be a beautiful way to celebrate your union with friends and family, but once it is over, and you are left with just your spouse, now what? Unfortunately, thanks in part to Hollywood, care and consideration beyond the wedding is no longer given to marriage and it is now seen as a joke. It’s something that is entered into as casually as dating without extra thought and care because if it doesn’t work – we can just divorce! (Or in some short cases, seek annulment.) Divorce is now seen as a “Get Out Of Jail Marriage Free Card” and not as the ultimate last resort (after putting in time and effort to make it work). Some couples should have changed their vows from “For Better Or Worse Until Death Do Us Part” to “Until I Can’t Take Anymore And I Give Up.” Long gone are the days where “for better or for worse” actually meant something. Has marriage lost its meaning?  While others may say yes, “it’s just a piece of paper”, I strongly disagree. I am often asked what it is like being married, and I always say “It’s great, as long as you marry the right person!” That’s the piece that many people are missing in the puzzle – the right person, not the right now person. When entered into correctly and with the right honor, and respect of what God intended it to be, marriage is one of the most beautiful things on this earth to experience. Waking up and going to sleep next to my husband, raising our children, and enjoying life together is something that I cannot even put into words. My husband once said that marriage is like a never-ending sleepover with your best friend, and I agree. Are there days when I’m rolling my eyes, or raising my voice in frustration? Absolutely. But when either one of us are upset, we talk it over, let it go and we move on. Nothing in life is perfect everyday, but when you have the difficult times and weather them, it makes you appreciate the great times that much more as well as strengthens your bond as a couple. Some say that there are soul mates, or only one person for you, and while that is up for debate, I do feel that we are ultimately in control of deciding who we share our life with – so choose wisely.   Women  often times give more thought and care into the perfect shoes,outfit or dress, something that is only momentary. Extra care, thought, and consideration should be given to the relationship prior to making what should be a lifetime commitment. I advise that women get over the fantasy of the “dream wedding” and work towards obtaining “the dream marriage.” Once the music stops, and the guests go home, all you have is your relationship. When it comes to marriage, you will get out of it what you put into it. As with anything worth truly having, it is worth working hard for. For those who truly respect the institution of marriage and all that it stands for, no matter how recklessly others may treat it, marriage has not lost its meaning – and it never will.