Are you or someone you know in a painful relationship? Researchers revealed that people who live with someone who is psychologically or physically abused still portray optimistic traits in their abusers, such as reliability and being loving. Commonly in spousal abuse it takes longer to end it because the abuser has all the control and the upper hand.
If you are being abused it is typical that you are isolated from the real world. A classic motto from someone who is being abused is, “it’s my fault,” “he/she can change,” “he/she was not like that before,” and so on. Often the person who is being abused blames himself /herself for the violence. They may feel unsure, frightened, angry or trapped, these are common emotions and concerns. Sadly there may be nothing that anyone can say or do to make these victims understand that no one is to blame but the abuser.
Some examples of questions asked to victims are: “why do you stay in an unhealthy relationship,” “Why can’t you simply leave,” or “What if you get hurt really bad?” Well the truth of the matter is the person being abused is not thinking logically. Rather than thinking of what could happen in the future, they think of right now. This is the part where in denial is a concern. Understanding these problems and concerns should help them leave, understanding that once an abuser, most often, is always an abuser. Just because you are not getting physically abused does not mean that you are not getting battered, you could be getting emotionally abused. In this case, it is worse! It often starts with violence and controlling characteristics. It is very important that you, or someone you know who is being abused, gets out from that relationship before it is too late!
“He/she loves me”, or “he/she won’t do it again” is most likely what the person who being abused is going to say because they are simply in denial. Being in denial is a disease because they find ways to justify their abuse. They often confuse their feelings because they want to make it work or just simply are terrified. However, they may fail to comprehend and recognize that if it’s love than it would not hurt. If you want to get out of an abusive relationship you have to realize that you have the right to be treated with respect and not be physically or emotionally harmed by another person.
If you, or someone you know, is being abused in any way, help find a way out. No one should go through this alone. Although a common trait is isolation, help support those who need it.
Friends and family who love and care about you can make it easier for you to walk away. It’s imperative to know that asking for help isn’t a sign of powerlessness or vulnerability. It simply indicates that you have a lot of bravery and are prepared to defend yourself.