The Mom Spot: Boys will be boys…

I am a blessed mother of four children, two boys, and two girls. My oldest is my eleven year old son.
For a few years now I’ve been questioning the way I parent him. I’ve noticed that he responds differently to me than he does with his Daddy…very differently.
He rejects my suggestions, argues every point I make, and even thinks all my requests are unreasonable.
With my husband he {almost always} responds to everything with a “Yes, Daddy!”
What is going on, I wonder? Where did I go wrong?
I decided to back-track…oh yes! I do remember a time when he was about three and half years old…he had always been such a Mommy’s boy up until this point. {Don’t get me wrong Daddy was always trailing by only a  hair, and sometimes less}. This is when my son started pushing away from me and being so difficult to handle {I should mention that this is all simultaneous to the birth of my first daughter}. It was heart breaking and difficult to understand. They say “Girls are made out of sugar and spice and everything nice, but boys are made out of snakes and snails and puppy dog tails”.

I remember days would go by when I thought that I was going to go crazy! I was shocked by the sheer physicality of this little boy.

Now let’s fast forward…after having two girls in a row, I often get frustrated with my son and his ability to suck up all the air in the room inhaling just once! He won’t sit on his bottom and play nice. I often find myself asking, “Must you do that? Do you have to be that loud? Not so rough!! SETTLE DOWN…geesh!!!”

Question: So Where did I go wrong?

Answer: Nowhere, he’s a boy!

Here’s the answer to all those questions above: YES! Yes, boys need to be loud, and rough and they can’t settle down as easily as we ask them to. Boys are physically and mentally wired differently from girls. If we mothers can keep that at the back of minds when dealing with our sons, we may have a better understanding of their needs to release a little testosterone. Also Moms, when our sons begin pulling away, saying no to everything {even things they like}, and screaming bloody murder at bedtime, let’s not take it personal…they are just genetically programmed to respond that way. With all this said I’ll add that boys will usually always respond better to Dad…again let’s not take it personal.

I highly recommend the book “Bringing Up Boys”, by James Dobson for any of you looking to read more in depth.

One more bit of advice for Moms with boys…”If you let that boy get bored, you deserve what he’s going to do to you”.

God Bless you!