butterfly on flower

Grieving The Loss Of A Loved One

This is a letter I wrote to a dear friend who had suffered tremendous loss in a short period of time. I know that many others may be going through the same and I wanted to share the letter with you. I pray it encourages someone in their time of need.



Inspiration For A Grieving Mother

Dear Elizabeth,

I am sorry to hear you are going through such a rough time.

butterfly on flowerI’m not surprised that you are struggling between the winter weather, darkness, and all the emotional pain and loss you have suffered. I am sure that this must be a very difficult time for you. I cannot imagine how you are handling it all. Though you don’t feel like getting out much, being inside is probably not a big help to you. I understand though, when you feel so down, not having the energy or the interest in getting yourself out. It’s so hard, I’m sure.

I wish there were something I could do for you. I know depression can sometimes be a losing battle, but I also know that once spring comes, and there is new life all around, you will feel
more peace, joy and strength to move forward. These things, in your life, happened at a
terrible time for you, Elizabeth. Just when weather was getting colder, darker, and moving into the holiday time, though it is never an easy time when we lose someone we love. When winter got to be the hardest for you, your sister-in-law passed, as well. Seeing your brother suffering and in grief cannot be easy for you either, I am sure. I do not think I have ever known anyone who has suffered so much loss in one lifetime.

I have read a lot about heaven and have gotten real inspiration from a book called “Heaven” by Randy Alcorn. I actually read it twice because it gave me so much inspiration and helped me understand heaven and earth so much more clearly. All based on faith, this book is so very fulfilling and enlightening. It has given me such a wonderful sense of heaven that I now feel a peace I cannot explain. It has made me look so forward to my time of passing,always in God’s perfect timing.

I also have something that I have shared with others, even before I ever experienced any death, in my own life. I feel fortunate that God seems to always give me things to ponder, to help me
understand experiences in life, whether they be my own or someone else’s.

I remember someone coming to me a few years ago. It was not anyone I even really knew. She worked in the office next door. I met her one day and only saw her one other time, briefly, before leaving that position. She and I started talking and somehow it lead to the topic of death. She asked for my thoughts on what happens when we die. Somehow, when these situations come up, I feel God speaking through me, which I take very seriously and am very grateful for. This woman explained how her husband had died and wondered if he was near her. She talked for quite a while, concerned about many things, but mostly her daughter, wondering if he could still see her and be a part of her life. This is what God gave me to say…..

When someone dies, they don’t go anywhere. Though we
may not see them, in body, they are very much alive, within us, on this
earth. We need to understand that they never leave us. We shut them out, in a sense, when we grieve and cannot take the time to be with them in memory of happier times. We shut down so their spirit can no longer communicate with us and bring us the joy they so want to give.

Think about this…..Have you ever closed your eyes and imagined being in
your kitchen when you are making something delicious. You can smell and
taste the food you were cooking and even sit down to dinner as you have
many times before. You hear your family’s voices and the sound of plates clanging, just like it once was. You remember the sound of the chatter, the fights between the kids (yes, even those) and the refusal to eat perfectly good food that you had worked hard on, when the boys were little. Can you feel the frustration? It’s all still there. As a matter of fact, while you are thinking of those things, everything else is shut out and you truly are in that place, once again.

That is what it is like when we die. We are able to be in all places,
at all times. Since we are no longer contained within a body, we are free.
Eric and your sister-in-law, your mother and your father, can all see and feel and hear all that is happening now as well as in the past. They enjoy being with you more now than ever, as there is no more turmoil that life on earth brings.

When we get upset and will not let go, we not only shut our passed loved ones out, we also
make them sad. They do not want to feel that pain in us as they no longer feel pain, themselves. Instead, they want us to remember the wonderful times we shared, here on earth, as that is all they remember, now.

Enjoy the beauty all around you in flowers, the sun shine, the cool breeze, the love you feel for your family and even your love for your dogs. Those who have passed enjoy seeing and feeling your heart as you go about your day, loving you the same way that God loves us all. As
we remember back to past times, seeing, feeling and smelling all that once was, it is just a glimpse of what we will experience every second once we are in our eternal home, with those who are already there. This is what our loved ones are enjoying and what we have to look forward to and experience in our eternal existence, with them, in heaven.

I know this cannot be an easy time for you, Elizabeth. Perhaps, however, you can look
at the sunshine and remember those you love, knowing they are there.
Smell the beautiful flowers that the new birth of spring gives us and see your loved ones in those flowers. Everything is living and connected, whether in body or in spirit. The spiritual part of our loved ones and us will never be parted. They are all around us, loving us as we will love, once we join them…..completely and purely.

I am reading a book, right now, that is about how our passed loved ones are
still very connected with us. It says we are never parted. It is an
amazing thought and certainly a peaceful and beautiful thing to ponder.
Everything in the universe is eternal, alive and evolving.
Consciousness survives after death. Energy still connects us and is eternal.

Remember that God is a loving God and He does not give us others to love only to take them away. He expects us to grieve, as well, though He wants us to come to realize, that they are still here. They never leave us. Just as we cannot see God, we feel Him and know He is here. So it is with our loved ones. We cannot see them, but they are with God, always with
us. Now, though, they can be with us every minute of every
day, something they could not do before they passed.

I do not know what you are feeling, Elizabeth. I truly do not and will
never pretend to. All I can say is that I hope, in some way, you will
know that in death there is abundant life. And all is perfected in that.

There is no more grieving for those in heaven. They know now how much
we love them and we must remember how much they still truly love us. Because they are now perfected in God, they only see perfection in us. That is how God sees us. He knows our hearts, which is all that He needs to see. Jesus took all the rest away, for us. That is the miracle of life. God is so good to us. I do not know about you, but I cannot wait for the day all of us are together, again, in peace and pure love. We are all going to have a blast, together, when we get there.

I hope you have a good day, Liz. I think of you all the time and
pray that each day brings you to better clarity, peace and joy than you
have felt in a long time. God wants that for you even more than I
do……and so does Eric. He and God are rooting for you! Take care and feel better.

Love, Bonnie

*Names changed to protect privacy.
Bonnie Florek is a writer and editor for Inkwell Editors and has written articles for Examiner.com. She is a professional Christian soloist, has given a concert at the Crystal Cathedral, in California, and has recorded a solo CD. She has a strong faith and enjoys speaking and sharing, with others, her love for God. Bonnie writes Christian books, as well as books and monologues for Spooks and Legends Haunted Tours, LLC. She is available to speak at churches and for Christian groups. She also performs 18th century character monologues for group entertainment and education, haunted and history tours in Williamsburg, VA. You may contact her through spooksandlegends.cominkwelleditors.com, or through this site.